Are you married? If so, there is a lot that you and your partner probably discuss throughout the day. Your conversation topics may cover work, family, and the bills. What about sex? Do you and your partner talk about sex?
If not, it may be something that you need to discuss with them. One of the biggest signs that a conversation is needed is if you are currently unhappy in the bedroom. As much as you may want to talk to your partner about making improvements in the bedroom, you may be curious as to whether or not it is really a good idea. Dr. Brandye, board-certified OB/GYN, Amazon #1 bestselling author, and women’s sex and pleasure coach. I teach women how to feel good in and out of the bedroom, and how to live their best sex life ever!
So, is it a good idea to talk to your partner about sex? Well, if the title of this post is any indication, the answer is Y-E-S!
Open Lines of Communication
Sex is an integral part of your relationship and should be discussed just like you discuss money, and family, and bills. Open lines of communication are important for a relationship to succeed and your intimate relationships are no different.
Both parties are responsible for keeping those lines of communication open. However, when it comes to the topic of sex, people get shy. If you aren’t having these discussions you may be putting your intimate relationship at risk.
Sex is an integral part of your relationship, and should be discussed just like you discuss money, and family, and bills.
As for the talk itself, it is important that you proceed with caution. Do not criticize your partner or make them feel inadequate. Most partners pride themselves on their ability to please their special someone, especially in the bedroom.
Be Gentle
If what they’re doing is not doing it for you, you have to speak up. But the first tip is to be gentle. Outright telling your partner that they aren’t fulfilling your needs is likely to create even more problems in your relationship. Instead, gently approach the subject. You may want to start by casually making a suggestion, such as trying a new position.
Next, it is important to listen to what your partner has to say. This is important as your communication should not be one sided. When talking to your partner about intimacy say what you have to say, but also allow them to speak their mind.
Don’t Just Talk, Listen
Why is it so important to listen to what your partner has to say concerning intimacy? For starters, as previously stated, a happy and healthy relationship must involve communication from both parties, not just one-sided conversations.
It is also important to note that there may be a good reason why your partner may not be performing up to your standards in the bedroom. Are they experiencing uncertainty or insecurities due to an increase in age, a weight gain, or another change in physical appearance? What about medical problems? Did you know that some medical conditions, such as depression, and some medicines can lead to a decrease in the want or need for intimacy?
Even with the above mentioned tips, you may still be unsure as to how you should talk to your partner about sex. You may be feeling this way if you are worried about the consequences or hurting their feelings. This is completely natural, but know that you do have another option.
Give a Gift
Consider giving a gift or performing a gesture that may lead to the topic of intimacy being discussed. Whether you plan a spontaneous romantic dinner, purchase a romantic or pornographic movie, or buy something sexy for your partner to wear, a gift may help to get a new conversation started.
As previously stated, talking to your partner about sex and intimacy may be hard for you. With that said, it is important that you do have the talk. Not only is an open line of communication important for intimacy, but it is also important for a healthy relationship in general. As a reminder, don’t just talk to your partner about sex, but be sure to listen to what they have to say as well.
If you need some help in that area, I am here for you. Get on my schedule here, so you can learn how to get what you need without hurt feelings or bruised egos.
